I will use no particular man in this blog. My point is not to bash a particular man. My point is an idea to consider: What is so wrong with waiting for the right one? What is so wrong with letting go of the one I think is the wrong one?
Ok, lets negotiate. I don't want to be a nun or have a second birth into being a virgin.
I understand that it looks like my independence must cause a major problem. People have actually already talked and preached and in favor of the idea, but it seems that every single time the heat is on, people toss the idea aside.
Again, getting into bed with someone is not something I always have a serious regard to when it comes to relationships. I do not use sex as any reason for anything whatsoever.
To an extent I do, but I know there is a difference between lust, love, and fun.
In my opinion, I really think people need to stop investing and getting so worked up in possible interests or those who are interested in me.
If love happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Yes, my heart breaks sometimes. I've heard it all: narcissist, cunt, lesbian.
The fact of the matter is, I have high statistics of letting go. I cry my tears, I think out my thoughts, and I move on with life.
I think so many men have issues that I am not as aggressive as they would like me to be. I make my own judgements, sometimes because I don't have opportunity, I keep my thoughts to myself. Other times when there is opportunity, it may not feel right to say something for different reasons with whoever it may be.
This again kind of goes back to the thought of male and female roles in a relationship. Sometimes the woman is the breadwinner; but I don't see it that way with myself in literal terms. I think the men who want me to be aggressive are the ones who have the issue with the fact that I have a mind of my own. I want to still follow my personal dreams when he may think I should be giving more attention to him. At the same time, since this guy sees me as the dominant one, it is not right or fair for him to expect so much from me. Its not right even though I'm not literally the breadwinner to be or share responsibility for the times I get fired, rigged, and screwed over. Guys seem to want it both with me: Breadwinner and complete selflessness. I think they are also the ones who have the issues when it comes to calling the shots as well. I think it is this group of men who may take it to the extreme when I follow my personal dreams to say that I should be the more aggressive one in the relationship
Throughout my time, I have individually decided to myself how much or how little I would pursue and be aggressive with a man. I do what I think is best for me. I already know how I feel with most men. Some men, I do need more time with to make up my mind. I hate feeling tricked or decieved. Yes, sometimes, some men are just fun. I think the issue with a lot of drama though is that some people make a bigger crisis out of it than I do. Sometimes, I feel a strong urge to be The Anchorman's Veronica if I need to. Other times, I get frustrated at the man feeling so trapped out of his own people pleasing. He can find a better way to break it off than worry about what the audience will do so we don't waste each others time living his lie.
Some say I'm insecure in assuming the worst of people. I really trust myself more than I trust others, so, I usually go with assuming the worst. I figure if a man cares enough, he might want to prove me wrong. I also have experienced tons of negativity, so it is a believable mind of me to think the worst.
It is when a man does not let go and does not accept that I won't be part of his swinging game, polygamy, player mentality, practical slavery, or even a faithful but abusive or boring relationship where I'm not even interested in him, that I have my bitchfest and scream in a rage that he won't let go after I've said no.
When I get ignored and neglected is when I become the Veronica.
No comments:
Post a Comment